The Washington Presidents: Meh

For most teams that aren’t the 2011 Philadelphia Phillies, the fifth spot in the rotation exists in a perpetual state of flux. Marginal pitchers who are just a little too effective for the bullpen churn through that position like Italian Prime Ministers. Your typical fifth starter is a poster child for Replacement Level talent. So, it is only fitting that the Washington Presidents fifth starter embody Replacement Level Presidential talent.


Calvin Coolidge, Starting Pitcher

“Silent Cal” had the dynamism of a manila envelope. He was the embodiment of mediocrity. Whether you blame him for passively allowing the stock market bubble of the 1920s to expand or praise him for sensibly allowing the economy to function without government interference, all can agree that Coolidge’s presidential style could best be described as “hands off.” In fact, he could have spent his entire term in office fly fishing, and no one would have noticed…not even Mrs. Coolidge. He wasn’t terrible (Coolidge wasn’t the only person who didn’t see the Great Depression coming), but he didn’t knock anybody’s socks off. Most teams would be lucky to have such a non-entity holding down the end of the rotation. Better than Jeanmar Gomez, anyway.

Comparable players: Chris Narveson, Tom Gorzelanny


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