Catchers are often referred to as “backstops,” and when it comes to our dwindling reserve of presidential ability, two guys stand above the pack, ready and willing to provide pitchers with a nice, wide target and block the plate when the runner is churning down the third base path.
William Howard Taft, Starting Catcher
Old Uncle Jumbo might not have much speed, but he would be an implacable force behind the dish, and with all that weight to throw around, he’d always be a threat to hit one out of the park. He was also the first president to throw out the first pitch at a major league game. And he did it from the stands! That’s an arm.
Grover Cleveland, Back-up Catcher
Second only to Taft in Body Mass Index, Cleveland provides two thirds of the power, two thirds of the slide-stopping force, and two thirds the mustache. Give him two starts a week instead of one, though. Taft will probably have a hard time playing more than that without getting gassed.
Taft’s Comparable players: Yadier Molina, Bengie Molina, Jose Molina
Cleveland’s Comparable players: John Kruk, Hamilton “Ham” Porter